I lay in bed last night with a clear vision of myself infected with sin and impure beyond doubt. I have a picture of myself
But, I have a feeling after all this digging. My hands are worn, they are sore and raw and so dirty. But finally I feel something.. it is in the bottom of my hole. It feels hard.. solid.
For a moment I wonder if I have finally dug myself straight into the depths of hell or if I have finally somehow reached the bottom of my pit. Have I hit rock bottom? Will I now begin to climb back up? Will I fill the hole with wonderous things?
Will I find a pickaxe and carry on? I constantly battle the inner me. I don't deserve to climb back up. I don't deserve to find grace and love. I lay there at the bottom of my hole.. dirty and moist and I pick at the hardness I've found. I pluck it with my fingernails and wonder what I will do next.. start my journey upwards or return with stronger tools?
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.